» How The Hell Does Wilmer Valderrama Still Manage To Bang Hollywood Chicks? Barstool Sports: Philly

How The Hell Does Wilmer Valderrama Still Manage To Bang Hollywood Chicks?

Star – Just a few days after her split from N.Y. Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, Eva Longoria had already drafted another sweetheart: Wilmer Valderrama! Eva, 37, was spotted canoodling with 32-year-old Wilmer at a play in downtown L.A. “Wilmer and Eva went in and sat down next to each other – and as soon as the lights went out, she tucked her arm under his and they held hands the entire play,” an eyewitness reports. “She kept whispering in his ear and laying her head in his shoulder. They were really the cutest couple.”

This dude’s cock has gotta be made of platinum cocaine because there is simply no other explanation as to how he still manages to bang Hollywood celebrities. HE’S NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE! Like how is it possible that he and Mark Sanchez are playing in the same dating league? Sure Sanchez is awful at quarterbacking — but he’s still an attractive NFL star who plays in New York. Wilmer Valderrama’s last job was telling YO MAMA JOKES on MTV in the background at like 2am while you’re going to sleep. His ability to still pull celebrity ass is one of the most remarkable mysteries currently on this planet.

Check his stats:

The hot Jennifer Love Hewitt
Mila Kunis
Mandy Moore
Hot Lindsay Lohan
Ashlee Simpson
Avril Lavigne
Demi Lovato
Minka Kelly

And now rebound Eva Longoria? Unbelievable! Only in America!

By maurice posted November 29th, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Top 2 Comments

18 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by Logjammin on November 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm
you used to fall asleep watching MTV?? get your shit together black man.
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by pedrofartinez on November 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm
looks like eva is having a great time
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by phil leotardo on November 29, 2012 at 12:53 pm
You think Mark Sanchez is attractive? I believe the blacks call that being on the Down Low, Mo?
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by baconbit on November 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm
hes still got handy manny, if you have kids you know this
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by spinna on November 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm
dis is YO MAMA
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by mississippi on November 29, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Channeling Chazz Reinhold in pic 1.
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by mattsh20 on November 29, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Whatd he bring her to a funeral?
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by You Bleed Like Mai Lee on November 29, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Scott Baio 2.0
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by k1dd0 on November 29, 2012 at 1:26 pm
uhhh that looks like theyre at a funeral.
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by natireds on November 29, 2012 at 1:50 pm
^ Guess they are calling funerals "plays" these days.
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by EZBreezey2222 on November 29, 2012 at 1:53 pm
she's got that Law and Order SVU victim look on her face
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by beantown101 on November 29, 2012 at 1:57 pm
How does he still get laid Mo?Cause he's not a black racist asshole...thats how
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by corylidleflymehome on November 29, 2012 at 2:08 pm
that first picture they're obviously coming from the wake of both their careers
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by hocke4607 on November 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Are they leaving a fucking funeral. She looks like she legit wants to kill herself.
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by NJD123 on November 29, 2012 at 2:56 pm
They don't call him Handy Manny for nothing!
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by real00mccoy on November 29, 2012 at 4:26 pm
His dick must be made of millions of dollars in CASHMONEY!
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by peytonsucksballs on November 29, 2012 at 6:24 pm
It's been documented that he has a huge cock. That's how.
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by provcity1 on November 30, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Easy, bro targets crazy bitches and rebounds. Works in the real world, must work in Hollywood too.
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