Another beautiful day in the People’s Republic. Sun shining, birds chirping, bloody psychopaths eating other people on the subway while terrified onlookers film with their phones… it’s everything the 2008 Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremony told me China was about!
The real question here, though: why haven’t more American thugs moved to China? Sure we all have these stereotypes that offenses like this over there are dealt with unusually harshly…but who really knows? All I see is a society filled with tiny, easily frightened people who would totally give me their wallets if I asked in a stern tone. Why bother walking around strapped in Detroit or Camden holding up poor people for $5 when you can spend the few grand to fly to China and make 10 times that amount by robbing pacified Asians? Seems like a no-brainer.
Also a no-brainer: this bleeding guy if people didn’t detach this zombie from him fast enough.

















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