I love how old people are amazed by everything. It’s so cute. I showed my Nana — yeah, bitch I said my NANA — Angry Birds on my HP Touchpad 3 weeks ago and nearly blew her brain into a million pieces. Shit wasn’t even an iPad. We were in free app on a knockoff $200 tablet territory and it still rocked her world. Old people are priceless.
Pretty sure that dies with her generation, though. No way all of us react like this woman in 2065 when somebody shows us some new shit. Do you have any idea what I saw just YESTERDAY, Grams? A frog with a live parasite in its eye, two rapists threatening to hang themselves by bed sheets off a rehab rooftop, a children’s doll that calls you ‘crazy bitch’, a girl who rubs lipstick in her asshole and sells the prints on eBay, the greatest radio-controlled flying machine man has ever made, and a girl giving a double thumbs-up in a mugshot after kneeing a cop in the balls. And that was only YESTERDAY. No WAY I’m impressed by popping/sizzling candy when I’m in my golden years. The internet has left me unable to be impressed.
My grandchildren better come correct with some hoverboards or a blowjob machine or they’ll never get my attention.
PS – Quick! Get grandma a Pepsi!