Barstool Sports

All COCKY!

Pretty sure that’s my new rap name and my DJ is gonna have this sample on super loop for every one of my shows. It’ll be like the “Maybach Music” chick only with a 40 year-old man having a psychological breakdown over a football game. All COCKY! Crowd would go nuts.

I often wonder while watching any post-game Youtube bedroom rants if these people actually have neighbors. I remember at one point EatDatPussy445′s mom freaked out or something in the background — shit reminds me of Big Fan in more ways than one. I bet our hero here actually has a family of sane people next door just waiting for the day they hear a gunshot and a body fall to the floor because a patented Tony Romo gunslinger interception sent him over the edge.

Having said that — all of the major NFL Youtube stars deserve a show IMMEDIATELY. Head-to-Head superfan freakout sessions during an NFL pregame show with some sort of viewer text voting involved? Pretty sure I just gave away a billion-dollar idea for $Free.50. No way anybody in America would stay tuned to Dan Marino or Michael Irvin over seeing some delusional Rams superfan explain how their upcoming win over the Bears is the first step to a long road to the playoffs. These people need a bigger forum.

PS – The Cowboys are terrible. Their fans are terrible. Their offensive line is made of paper bags. Their best offensive weapon Chris Brown’d his own mother. And their pissed off Youtube fan rants aren’t even in the same ballpark as our man EatDatPussy445. If you’re a Cowboys fan — kill yourself.