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Doug Collins Is THIS Close To Stroking-Out & Dying On The Sideline

If you watch the Sixers, chances are you like Doug Collins. He’s the lovable (young-ish) grandfather type who wears his heart on his sleeve and really puts everything of himself in each and every play his team runs. But because the Sixers haven’t won two-straight games since November (albeit maybe the product of one of the league’s harshest road trips in recent memory), you can start to see how it’s very possible that Doug Collins clutches his heart in agony at some point during this season and simply dies on the court.

Are the players tuning him out? Probably not. I mean, yeah, Evan Turner is. But Evan Turner would tune out Phil Jackson and assistant coach Jesus Christ if they were on the bench so that’s no big thing. What Doug needs is Andrew Bynum to come back and come back strong. Lavoy Allen, Kwame Brown, and Spencer Hawes are not starting NBA centers. Lavoy is best as a backup, Spence is best as a starting 4, and Kwame Brown would be best as a tiny hand model or nightclub bouncer or something. But none of these guys are legit centers. And if Doug wants to avoid his last thoughts being “We really need better defensive rotation holy shit my left arm is numb”, he needs Bynum’s rebounding and shot blocking on the floor STAT.

By maurice posted January 16th, 2013 at 10:47 AM

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by OgaPete on January 16, 2013 at 10:57 am
"Kwame Brown would be best as a tiny hand model or nightclub bouncer or something" love it
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by Eduardo Corrochio on January 16, 2013 at 11:05 am
What's with Philly and complaining about schedules? Complained about the Eagles, now the Sixers. Your teams suck! Doesn't matter what schedule they play.
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by gaystooliesdisappointeddad on January 16, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Sixers suck because Bynum is a mental midget who can't get on the floor now that Kobe Bryant isnt out there bullying the shit out of him to play. Right on about Coach Dougie, he is not going to be able to take another season of this, probably gonna lose his shit and rip out Spencer Hawes mullet and wear it as a wookie mask.
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