» Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Was Going 100mph To Make His Wedding Only To Get Pulled Over, Miss The Ceremony And Spend The Night In Jail Instead? Barstool Sports: Philly

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Was Going 100mph To Make His Wedding Only To Get Pulled Over, Miss The Ceremony And Spend The Night In Jail Instead?

PORTAGE – Timothy N. Thompson wasn’t about to let a little thing like the fact that he was running late stop him from actually getting to his wedding on time. Only problem is he didn’t expect the cops would frown on him driving 100 mph in order to make it to the ceremony. An officer in Portage, Ind., clocked Thompson speeding and when he tried to pull him over, he reportedly pulled into a parking, sped through it and did doughnuts, creating blankets of tire smoke. After he was finally pulled over, Thompson again sped off, telling the cop he thought he was done. Unsurprisingly, he missed his wedding, but did spend the night in a cozy jail cell.

Actually better to spend a night in jail than attend your life sentencing, but that’s neither here nor there. His broad has to be fuming fire from her vagina. There’s only one excuse for a man to miss his wedding in the eyes of the bride and that if he’s attending a funeral. His funeral. And even then it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise if she’s still standing beside the open casket going through the vows and drags his dead dick out for the first dance. It’s a damn shame though because that soul patch was going to look killer in the wedding photos. Pretty much the only thing he’s got going for him, too. Dude looks like he’s a Tolkein character that hasn’t hit puberty yet. May he fight with the strength of 10 grown men.

By smitty posted December 12th, 2012 at 10:48 AM

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by marleymac77 on December 12, 2012 at 10:55 am
This guy was obviously doing everything he could to get put in Jail. Your speeding on your way to your wedding and cop pulls you over, how do you not just pull over and tell him whats happening. Instead you start doing doughnuts and then speed away as your getting pulled over a second time? This guy obviously does not want to get married.
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by dabing on December 12, 2012 at 10:59 am
Frosted tips!?! Priceless! I bet the reception was at a Piggly Wiigly
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by tornopen on December 12, 2012 at 11:10 am
they were registered at the Trailer Park & Meth Discount Store.Only douches dye their hair. Indiana.... part of America's toilet.
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by teds_underwear on December 12, 2012 at 11:19 am
marleymac77 has obviously never heard of brevity...
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by kcampbe9 on December 12, 2012 at 11:54 am
If by Wedding you actually mean Civil Union, then yeah I guessed he missed his Wedding
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by el-duderino on December 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm
You can call me "Duder" if you're not into the whole brevity thing
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by gamebreaker81 on December 12, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Big rush to give half his shit away
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