Barstool Sports

TSG – For the fourth time in the past two years, a Cincinnati man has been arrested for masturbating in public with the aid of a teddy bear, records show. Charles Marshall, 28, was arrested Wednesday evening after employees at a health clinic spotted him pleasuring himself in an alley. Marshall … was cited for disorderly conduct. Municipal Court records show that Marshall has already been convicted three times of engaging in public indecency/disorderly conduct with a teddy bear. The misdemeanor counts resulted in short jail sentences and small fines for Marshall. Marshall was first busted in February 2010 when witnesses spotted him engaged “with a teddy bear in mens bathroom” at a public library (which prompted a judge to order him to “stay away all Hamilton Co. public libraries”). He was again arrested in November 2010 and August 2011 for “masturbating w/a stuffed animal (teddy bear)” and “masturbating using a teddy bear in a public place where minors were likely to be present.”

So if hes been caught four times, we have to assume this is like a daily activity for Mr. Marshall.  Finding new and interesting places for he and his cotton-stuffed bear bang buddy to have a good time.  Public library, check.  Public men’s bathroom, check.  Public creepy health clinic alley, check.  What’s left?  I bet Build-a-Bear is like Condom Kingdom to this guy.

Above all else hopefully Charles knows his partners well and keeps himself protected.  Cin City was #2 on the bed bug list.  Those things could be filled to the brim with bear scabies.

PS – hey, at least he’s not banging kids.