Men: listen up. Don’t be fooled by that delicious looking picture. We can’t just let companies keep combining ordinary things with “manly” things and acting like it works. It doesn’t. You can’t just baconize and beerify every food on the planet. You will die.
I bet Red Robin has scientists hard at work right now trying to figure out how to make a bacon, beer, and cheese-flavored coffee that won’t kill you. The shit’s insane. Beer milkshakes, bro? Red Robin has some kinda balls thinking they can improve upon current milkshake technology; mass producing something that should only be available at state fairs or a pothead’s freezer. You ever been to Nifty Fifty’s or anywhere with an old school diner milkshake menu? It’s like Type 2 heaven. I’d have to be an insane person to struggle-drink through some terrible creamy beer slush nonsense instead of ordering a chocolate peanut butter Oreo brownie milkshake. Damn just typing those six words made my tastebuds precum.
I love beer, Red Robin. Don’t get me wrong. But a beer milkshake sounds like it would be a hell of a lot more enjoyable as a beer beer. I can get drunk after my milkshake.