How dare Ben disrespect an all-timer like Doug Glanville with a Bush League answer like that? Cheesecake? Are you even from AMERICA, son? How the hell does someone live to be 24 years old and not know the phrase “Philly Cheesesteak”? Not only am I offended as a local, but as a fan of common fucking sense. Cheesecake, Ben?
Bet you wish you got traded to New York so you could get down with some of their famous New York baked beans. Or maybe the Boston so you could get down with the world’s best soft tacos. Let’s not forget about your stint with the Twins. Minnesota’s got AMAZING oranges, AMIRITE?
Cheesecake. My God. Simply saying that word was worse than you eating a chicken cheesesteak hoagie for your first steak. Don’t you ever put a great man like Douggy G in a situation like that again.
PS – I might stab someone for a piece of cheesecake right now.