» Ben & Jerry’s Lock Seriously Underestimating Our Intelligence Barstool Sports: Philly

Ben & Jerry’s Lock Seriously Underestimating Our Intelligence

Press Release

Worried the dessert desperados have their eyes on your favorite ice cream flavor? Hate to leave home for fear of cold-hearted pint-nappers? Tired of vain attempts to conceal your favorite passion behind the frozen peas? Ben & Jerry’s wants YOU to breathe easier!

The all-new Euphori-Lock from Ben & Jerry’s is designed to promote family harmony – and salvage your peace of mind!

I saw this a couple days ago and seeing it again just reminded me of how irrationally angry this made me. Do you think I’m stupid, Ben & Jerry? Short of leaving a passive-aggressive note, I don’t think there’s anything that could infuriate me more than seeing this dumbass contraption in my freezer. I don’t care if it was put there by my own mother, if I ever see one of these I’m eating that ice cream out of spite. Even if it has coconut or something else gross in it. A man’s gotta have principles, and Ben & Jerry thinking I won’t knife the fuck out of the bottom of that container and have my way with every delicious spoonful is against my principles.

[via]

By maurice posted May 23rd, 2012 at 2:05 PM

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by Numero Two on May 23, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Great blog. I've never seen a product geared towards women more than this. I can almost hear the "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" being screamed in kitchens across America as knives, wrenches, and other tools get busted out to take down some dairy.
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by buttholsurfer on May 23, 2012 at 1:31 pm
It is about time, you FUCK.
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by owenz on May 23, 2012 at 1:38 pm
This is kind of a fun product if you live with a great big fat person. Nothing says, "don't even think about it, fatty," like a totally unnecessary ice cream lock.
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by alphapsi on May 23, 2012 at 1:41 pm
If one of my roommates got that I wouldn't even eat the ice cream. I'd just cut it off because it's so fucking stupid.
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by worldphuckingchampions on May 23, 2012 at 2:09 pm
A++++++++ Blog Post. Would definitely read again.
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by Paul Kersey on May 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Mo are you going to post anything about the Nationals winning the series over Philly?? Or Bryce Harper crushing a triple off Halladay?
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