WL – Far be it for me to judge another man, or specifically a man with millions of dollars, a smoking hot model/actress girlfriend, and two NBA championships, but I couldn’t help but at least slightly raise my eyebrow when Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade posted the above photo of what I believe is his foot on his Instagram account with the following message: “Matte black paint… RockStar ish.”
Umm…hey, have you ever stopped to think about what his nails looked like without paint? D Wade is a professional basketball player. Plays over 100 games a year at break-neck speed in the most challenging league on the planet. Do you know what that means? Horrible basketball feet.
Hey, I’ve got shitty basketball feet with the crusty ankles and crooked toes. It happens after years and years of stuffing your clopper in a snug basketball shoe and running/stopping/cutting for hours at a time. Michael Jordan is rich as hell and I bet his feet look they’re in line at a soup kitchen. This is just Wade’s way of hiding his terrible toenail fungus so he can walk comfortably around Miami in open-toed shoes.
So maybe the guy overdosed on his own cool a little bit, but it’s totally not a gay thing…right? Carson Daly used to paint his fingernails black and he’s straight. I think. Wait, is it possible Gabrielle Union is just Dwyane Wade’s hot actress beard girlfriend?
Nah — let’s not overthink this.


















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