» At First Bynum’s Hair Was Stupid, Then It was Fantastic, Now It’s Even Worse Than Before Barstool Sports: Philly

At First Bynum’s Hair Was Stupid, Then It was Fantastic, Now It’s Even Worse Than Before

Phase 1 – Stupid

What are you doing here, Andrew? Are you starting an afro or trying to look like an African immigrant? Black people in America don’t keep our hair at Akeem from Coming To America length. Somebody needs to take you to My-T-Sharp and make this shit ‘nice and neat‘.

Phase 2 – Fantastic

Aww snap it looks like we’ve got something going on here. What are his plans? Is he going to braid it down like A$AP Rocky and Pusha T? Is he going to perm it and have it luxuriously blowing in the breeze has he runs down the court like a black Luis Scola? Or is he going to just keep growing it out until he puts Dr. J to shame? So much anticipation!

Phase 3 – Even Worse Than Before

Wait…that was it? You cut it already…to this? Bro time to stop going to the blind barber college and have a fully-functional adult do something with that hairtastrophy. Your wig looks dusty as hell; like somebody’s creepy uncle who’s still stuck in the early 80′s. Like if somebody slapped you upside the head dust particles and dandruff would pollinate the locker room. Unless you’re planning on quitting basketball to breakdance in front of Xfinity Live for loose change it’s probably time to consider another look.

Is it too late to have you grow it out again and give the Jesus/Scola perm a shot?

By maurice posted November 13th, 2012 at 11:43 AM

Top 2 Comments

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by jackofspades on November 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

Big Cat's Barstool Safe Mode 2.0 was spot on...ENOUGH. ABOUT. BYNAM.
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by cougarbait on November 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

Maurice, we know you have bynum's entire dick in your mouth...stop trying to fit the balls in too...enough is enough
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by vaginade on November 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

MO did you write this for KingBlackDude? Because nobody else gives a fuck! You need to apply to WorldStar ASAP
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by tomcaronsgoatee on November 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

you can do whatever you want when you are lighting it up the way bynum is
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by makakala81 on November 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

blacks
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by otwisted on November 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Meanwhile Iggy is putting in 15 points and 7 rebounds a game. Solid trade. Looks like Bynum's hair is going to be the only noteworthy thing he does all season.
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by Buddy Revel on November 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

He is definitely going for rasta dreadlocks
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by EZBreezey2222 on November 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

at first we told you bynum was a fragile pussy who couldnt stay healthy then you said he'd be fine and the sixers were the #2 team in the east, now he's going to be out even longer than you thought
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by rearender on November 13, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Porch monkeys are so cute when they are little. However be sure to have them neutered before they are full grown. otherwise they'll be humping the furniture and any fat white chicks that come near them.
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by indira ghandis thong on November 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

i did not know black people could slick their hair back
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