Turns Out Hitler Was Just a Meth Head

USAToday – Adolf Hitler apparently relied on a stunning array of drugs while ruling Nazi Germany, including one made popular by the show Breaking Bad: crystal meth. According to a 47-page U.S. military dossier, a physician filled the Fuhrer with barbiturate tranquilizers, morphine, bulls‘ semen, a pill that contained crystal meth, and other drugs, depending on Hitler’s momentary needs, the Daily Mail reports. By this account, Hitler downed crystal meth before a 1943 meeting with Mussolini in which the Fuhrer ranted for two hours, and took nine shots of methamphetamine while living out his last days in his bunker.

Alright well that actually makes a ton of sense now that I think about it. I’m sure Hitler was a pretty big dick to begin with, but when you’re crushing tranquilizers, morphine, bull jizz and crystal meth on a daily basis, that’s probably enough to send anybody on . Now I’ve never had the pleasure of doing crystal meth so I don’t fully understand the effect it has on a person, but I’m just picturing the high hitting Hitler like it hit Tuco Salamanca. Zero to one hundred real quick, if you will.

Actually, yeah. Hitler and Tuco were for sure the same exact person. Anyway, I can’t imagine this is a good sign for all the hippies who are trying to end the war on drugs. Assuming that one of the most evil humans ever being addicted to crystal is a pretty good reason enough to keep it off the streets. But that’s just me.