The Phillies Have Won 7 Of 8, Cole Hamels Is Unstoppable, Ryan Howard Is On FI-YA, Annnddd They're Still (Basically) In Last Place

Well, well, well. Looks like we’ve awoken a sleeping giant that’s been hibernating for the last 4 years. Cole Hamels has been fresh as fuck winning his last 3 starts in dominant fashion, too. Maybe this team isn’t that bad. Wait, yes. Yes they still are. How can you win 7 of 8 and still be 6 games under .500 only 42 games into the season, you ask? Suck. And not only suck, royally suck out loud. I’m not gonna lie, this cocktease of a run has been entertaining, but don’t get fooled. Winning 6 in a row and 7 of 8 won’t make up for the dozens of 3-game losing streaks this crop of shitlorders is going to have this year.

The worst thing about them winning is Ruben Amaro might actually think they have chance and become buyers, AGAIN. No. That can’t happen. In fact, WHY AREN’T COLE AND HOWARD ANY CLOSER TO BEING TRADED?!?!?!?! STRIKE THE IRON WHILE THE FIRE IS HOT MAN. There are also reports now they’re looking to dish Ben Revere, which I really couldn’t care less about. All in all, the Phillies are still 6.5 behind the Nationals for first place and, again, they’re only 1/4 games into the season. Can’t wait till they finish 25 back to wipe out the year.

I hate this team.