DM – Choosing a Valentine’s Day gift is always a fraught affair – but it looks like it might just be about to get easier. While most men could be forgiven for assuming that their other halves want to be spoilt with jewellery come Thursday, a new survey has revealed that all women really want for Valentine’s Day is a hug. Given the choice, almost nine in ten women would choose a thoughtful, romantic gesture over a luxury gift of diamonds.
Well hardy-har-har. Isn’t this is just the most swell and believable news ever? Looks like you can return the $300 diamond earrings and the roses that were marked up 450% because your one-way ticket to blowjob city resides on a Haiku and a hug. If this isn’t the biggest crock of horseshit in the history of mankind then I don’t know what is.
There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes and all broads in relationships are greedy. If you’re with a lady and give a gift on Valentines Day that costs no money you will be either dumped on the spot or your cock will be forced into early retirement. Just pack up your bags or take off the condom and hang it from the rafters. There’s no way in hell that would ever fly for this made up holiday of one-day love. Even when you do get them something very worthy like a nice dinner and some decent jewelry they’ll still be a Debbie Downer once they find out their slut friend who is being slayed by some Wall Street dick was taken to the Four Seasons and got Tiffany’s. It’s never good enough. The only women that would be satisfied with a thoughtful, romantic gesture instead of something expensive are those who are either lonely as shit or are fat as fuck and would settle for anything, including some Milkbones dipped in syrup.
The sad part is I can 100% see 9/10 women saying they would not only be fine with, but rather choose something simple and meaningful over monetary items. Why? Because most women try to make themselves look all righteous and moral cause they for some reason care about what others think of them constantly, even in an anonymous survey. Because there’s no way in fuck that .00001/10 women believe what they’re saying let alone 90% of them. Sly cunts they are. All of them.
Hate to break it to you, Smitty, but women can't be trusted in surveys. It doesn't matter if you tell them it's anonymized, they will always choose the answer that doesn't make them seem what they really are: a greedy, self-centered bitch.
You alright Smitty? You sound very jaded here. If you're hurting, we're always here to listen buddy.
Hate to break it to you, Smitty, but women can’t be trusted in surveys. It doesn’t matter if you tell them it’s anonymized, they will always choose the answer that doesn’t make them seem what they really are: a greedy, self-centered bitch.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You alright Smitty? You sound very jaded here. If you’re hurting, we’re always here to listen buddy.
I don’t think my wife will wait until Thursday for a Valentine’s present.
If you’re married, your one-way ticket to blowjob city was canceled long ago anyway so it doesn’t matter.
Spot on blog. Said everything that needed saying
You choo, choo, choose me?
Well the study couldn’t be more wrong.
Great last few lines
10,000th survey concludes women are liars
A+ blog smitty. Completely accurate.
alright smitty im just spit balling here, but maaaaaybe if you stopped pelting hot blondes w snowballs to the face from point blank range, you might have a little easier time with the ladies. Just a thought
Smitty…. Are you? Well done man
Good job immediately cuckolding Big Cat’s sponsored post.
@thegeneral that was about to be my comment. Nice catch.
I’m just thankful its not on a weekday this year so the office isnt filled with gloating bitches who got giant bouquets delivered and bitter bitches who didnt get any flowers side-eyeing the ones who did.
This is why I don’t see any of my girlfriends on Valentines day. I don’t get any of them anything…lol
And cruel move by the calendar gods having the already depressing first post-NFL season Sunday also be Valentine’s Day, massive kick in the dick to guys across the country.
There was some extra heat in this one. Worried about you, Smitts.
Milkbones dipped in syrup. Bravo Smits, bravo.
I guess my ex-wife didn’t participate in this survey.
All chicks really want for valentines is for you to fuck up with their gift so they can hold it over for you forever
I’d rather buy something expensive.
This is a trick.
got an out of town hookup coming over for the weekend. Completely overlooked the fact that this sunday is Valentines day. Gonna go on a limb here and assume she did not and is reading too much into this. I’m soooooo fucked.
you can never go wrong with chocolate
Study said women are useless whores if they can’t cook
Comments Are Closed
Property of Barstool Sports 2015