Smitty Invades And Conquers The World’s Largest Pillow Fight

Feits was banana veteran of the The Great Pillow War via Boston a few years back. This year, Barstool sent out Smitty The Conquer to rape plunder and pillage the land of the nerds. It was announced as a “Viking Themed Pillow Fight”, so naturally I was the only one out of a thousand or so people who looked like Queef Erikson. That was cute. At least I fit in more than Tex who showed up as a Confederate soldier. That Rebel Yell was one hell of an inbred mating call.

But you haven’t lived until you shed blood in a pillow fight. Or rather you have lived, and lived well. It’s been 6 fucking days and my nose still looks like Jon Richie’s after a day of taking on Levon Kirkland head on. Also, kudos to Tex for continuing to willingly turn his brain into Jell-O. This kid is a walking case of CTE.

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