Should We Feel Threatened That Toronto Is Trying To Take Philly's Scumbag Crown?
By now I’m sure that you’re all more than aware of the incident that happened during last night’s Orioles vs Blue Jays game when a Toronto fan hurled a beer can from the stands toward Baltimore’s Hyun Soo Kim. Now first of all, the beer of choice here appears to be a Bud Light. What kind of fake Canadian hoser chooses Bud Light over Molson? (Honestly might just be an inside job from Philly now that I think about it). Also, this loser didn’t even finish his beer before chucking it at Kim. What a fucking pussy. Dude can’t even drink good. But that’s all besides the point. Because what really matters here is that it’s so clearly obvious that Toronto is trying to dethrone Philadelphia as the city with the scummiest fans in the world, and I simply won’t stand for it.
Now throwing beer cans onto the field of play isn’t something that is inherently unique to Philly. It happens all over the place from time to time. But what also happened last night which makes this incident seem even more fishy is this.
Shouting racial slurs to an Asian man and telling him to go back to his own country? Oh no no no no no. I realize that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but now you’ve crossed the line. Now Toronto is attempting to steal our entire shtick. Honestly, this is offensive to me. Not necessarily the beer being thrown at Kim. But the fact that Toronto is appropriating our culture as Philadelphians. We have spent years and years cultivating this culture. It dates back to 1776 when Philadelphia fans were so unruly that we decided to kick the goddamn British out of our country entirely. But now Toronto thinks they can flood the field with beer cans last season, pull a stunt like this one from last night, and now THEY are the bad guys? Fuck that. Fuck that to the moon.
The people of Toronto better check their privilege right this second. I realize that we are actually quite the same. Both Philadelphia and Toronto are cities that are starved for championships. Year in and year out, we are cursed with bitter disappointment. But being the most hated fan base in the world belongs to Philadelphia today, tomorrow, and for all days left to come. Toronto can get the frigg out of here and stay in their lane.