Has Anybody Ever Deserved To Get Run Over More Than This Asshole Biker Who Blocked A SEPTA Bus For An Hour?
Long story short, the answer is no. Nobody in the entire world deserved to get run over more than this back of dicks.
Billy Penn – A cyclist who was apparently angry at the actions of a bus driver stood in front of a SEPTA bus for an hour Wednesday afternoon near 13th and Locust, stopping traffic until a police officer arrived. (On a Segway.)
“This dude is screaming at the SEPTA bus,” Kay said. “I was just assuming he cut off the SEPTA bus while driving and didn’t like how close it was to him. He was basically shouting, ‘I am a vehicle, too, and I have a right to be here. I have right to this road.’”
The bus driver, Kay said, tried to wave the cyclist off as if to apologize. The cyclist proceeded to dismount from his bike, cross his arms and stand. And he stood for a very long time.
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse in this world than “cyclists” who think they are god’s gift to the Earth. Nothing grinds my gears (get it?) more than some jackwagon on his 10-speed thinking that he’s actually a part of traffic and deserves even an ounce of respect on the road. You wanna be some hippy who is trying to be all eco-friendly and shit? That’s fine with me. Just don’t start thinking that makes you better than anybody and DEFINITELY don’t start thinking that your choice to be a bike rider should slow down any normal human being in a car from going to point A to point B. You’re pissed off because a bus got too close to your ass on the road? Well here’s a little solution for you, ya cumstain. Maybe either A) quit being such a slow piece of shit or B) get out of the way because you. are. riding. a. bike. in. the. middle. of. the. street.
And the balls on this asshole. Do you have any idea how bad SEPTA buses smell? ANY IDEA at all? It’s an overbearing scent of human urine, shame and regret. It smells like unemployment. It reeks of failure. It’s a public bathroom on wheels. So for this one man, who is merely but a man with an awful sense of fashion and a Schwinn, to keep an entire group of people trapped in one of those buses longer than they have to be already? Well that’s just about the most selfish act I can imagine. It’s terrorism, is what it really is. And in America, we bully terrorists and we bash pricks like this. Really hoping the next time a scene like this unfolds in the city, there’s an obituary to follow.