Cristiano Ronaldo’s Sock Game Is… Well… It’s Something


Listen. As somebody who doesn’t exactly have the greatest socks myself, I don’t think it’s my place to critique other people’s sock choice. And I truly believe that everybody should love their own socks. You want to wear mid-calfs? Go wild. You like them a little thiccer to keep your feet warm in the winer? More power to ya. But Cristiano Ronaldo is wading into unchartered waters with this one. Maybe he rocks heels while he’s at home and that’s how he keeps his calves so strong? Maybe they’re just comfort socks? In the sense that he just enjoys the feeling of something gently caressing his toes while he enjoys his tea and reads his book. Or maybe he’s just European and it’s something that my uncultured ass will never understand. Either way, I’m just saying his sock game is something. I’m not shaming. Not even a little bit. I’m simply stating a fact that Cristiano Ronaldo’s socks are different than the ones I’m typically used to seeing. Nothing more, nothing less.

What I will say, however, is that if these socks are for boat shoes then he’s a big ol’ pussy. Boat shoes smelling like absolute shit by the end of the summer because you’ve worn them every day with no socks is just a rite of passage. Something that everybody goes through. A summer without offensively smelly shoes by the end of it is a summer wasted.


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