Solid and accurate video. I’m a firm believer you can tell everything you need to know about someone through just one game of pickup basketball. If they’re a dick and a douche during the game, they’re most likely a dick and a douche in life. Here’s what we’ve got for the Barstool Basketball Stereotypes:
Mr. Excuse: Prez. “Did we lose? If you say so. I was basically Bird out there.”
BONUS: The Chucker: Prez. “We all know the rules, one
Mr. Football Player: Big Cat. Really the perfect comparison.
My Bad Guy: Feits. Figured he’s used to apologizing at headquarters enough already.
The Looks Can Be Deceiving Guy: Tall Guy. When you’re 6’10 and don’t play D-1 ball you’re probably the single most uncoordinated and whitest person on Earth.
The Player Coach: Mo. That is when he can speak in between smokes and his heart failing on him.
The Accessories Guy: JMac. And by accessories I mean probably plays with a cig in his mouth the entire time.
The Rage Monster: 610. Roids ahoy.
The Old Guy: Jerry. Just wants to fit in and will fill you with grand stories about the time his dad touched Red Auerbach’s leg.
Imaginary Dunker: Kmarko. Has enough of the competitive edge to think he might have a chance every time he steps on the floor.
The Lose/Lose Situation: KFC. Loss when he attempts to play, loss when he has a heart attack on the court.
The Pants Guy: Real Ad. Imagine him not giving a fuck what people think.
Tall Guy That Only Shoots 3’s: Smitty. Play for a couple years without health insurance and see how well you develop your outside shot.
The Foul Guy: GuntSoxDave. The queen of excuses.
Mr. Freeze: KFC (again). Can’t really move well when you’re in a diabetic shock.