Atlanta Braves Pitcher Has The Dreaded Surgery To The Dickhole

braves

AJC – Braves pitcher Mike Minor will have spring-training debut delayed by at least a week or two after having a medical procedure on his urinary tract Dec. 31, which prevented from working out in January and led to some shoulder soreness when he resumed throwing. Minor, 26, had a cystoscopy performed Dec. 31 by a specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, after having difficulty urinating for the past two years. He had visited multiple urologists and other specialists in that period, and none could figure out what was causing the problem. It worsened to the point where he had to go to the emergency room, and a specialist at Vanderbilt said he had scar tissue built up inside his urethra that would have to be removed via the cystoscopy.

Ah, the ol’ Tormy Dong surgery. The final frontier for pitchers with shaft issues. The important question is how many STD tests did Mike Minor go through in the last 2 years before opting to go under the knife? That’s the real pain. Yeah, it’s mostly done through urine and blood tests now, but there’s no doubt some docs went old school and Minor received a Q-tip or 20 up the dickhole. Wouldn’t be shocked if one of the specialists went Civil War cure on him and shot some mercury up there through a turkey baster. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

His dick was giving him pain and he was saying his “shoulder hurts” as the reason for shitty pitching? Guess that’s the universal excuse for pussiness nowadays.

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