NJ.com – Holy crap! Cops say a 39-year-old woman admitted throwing feces in the face of a Hoboken Parking Utility officer last week during a shoving match over a parking ticket. The 9th Street resident was issued summonses for harassment and disorderly conduct as a result, police reports said. Police were called Wednesday, Sept. 11 at 9:18 p.m to Bloomfield and First streets on the report of a woman fighting with a parking officer, reports said. A large crowd had apparently gathered around the two to watch. The parking enforcement officer told police that she was leaving the HPU offices at City Hall when the woman approached her and began arguing over a parking ticket she had received earlier from the worker, reports said. The HPU worker told police that as she was getting into her boyfriend’s car to leave, her attacker opened the car door and continued the argument, reports said.
After the worker said she was going to call her supervisor, the woman threw a substance in the HPU officer’s face that was later confirmed to be feces, reports said. The two woman began to tussle until witnesses separated them, according to reports. The attacker told cops she had gotten upset about a parking ticket because she thought she was being targeted because she is Latina, reports said. She initially denied throwing poop at the HPU employee but later admitted that she had done it after scooping the feces up from the ground nearby in a paper cup, reports said. The victim was treated at Hoboken University Medical Center for possible contamination from the feces, reports said. Her attacker also visited the hospital after she complained to police that she was having an anxiety attack.
Who can honestly say they haven’t ever wanted to throw shit in a meter maid’s face? I have. I’m sure you have. Everybody who has ever gotten a ticket has. It’s a perfectly natural reaction. Especially when you get there like two seconds after they put the ticket on your car. You try and be reasonable with them. You give them the old “C’mon, I was gone for two seconds. Can’t you just cut me a break here?” And they give you that smug look and say something like “Sorry, sir. The sign is clearly posted.” And you just want to grab the biggest handful of shit you can find and mash it into their cocksucking face. IS THERE A SIGN POSTED FOR THIS!? IS THERE A SIGN POSTED THAT SAYS I CAN’T MURDER YOU WITH POOP!? HUH!?
I mean that’s what you’d like to do and say. But most of us just threaten to fight it somehow, get lazy, and end up paying it because that’s much easier than going to court and shit. We can still fantasize though. We can read stories like this and live vicariously through other shit throwers. After all, it’s that type of mental masturbation that helps keep us sane during the day to day grind.