Huff – A man once dubbed the world’s fattest says he is looking forward to a normal life after shedding 46 stone. Former postman Paul Mason, from Ipswich, weighed in at 70st before a gastric bypass in 2010 to reduce the size of his stomach. He now weighs 24 stone but says he needs further surgery, costing up to £37,000, to remove folds of loose skin. The 51-year-old told The Sun: “I was ashamed to be called the fattest man in the world because I knew I’d got myself in a hell of a state. ”Now I guess I could well be the biggest slimmer in the world, but I still have a way to go. ”I want to get down to between 14 and 15 stone which is the healthy weight for someone who is 6ft 4in.”
KFC blogged about this dude a while back doing the same thing, just showing off his skin flab. Well 664 pounds is a lot to lose and I guess he looks…err, good? Better? Slim by ‘former fattest guy in the world’ standards? Nah I mean good for him, I’m sure he’ll come correct once he gets all his extra skin removed and stuff. Probably? Ugh, why can’t I just be happy for others when they overcome great obstacles? Why do I always have to look for the flaws? I guess it’s because I’ve built up a cold, calculated shell around myself and mask my emotions with sarcasm and cynicism. Whatever.
Anyway, you know what I was thinking about today? Would you rather be a 2 foot nothing midget or a fat fatty like this guy? Obviously both options suck, but I think I’m going with the midget. As a midget at least you can still go out and explore the world. Sure you have a compressed spine and people will constantly be snickering at you, but at least you still have use of your dick. Maybe become a porn star and get to fuck regular chicks. But I’m sure there are some of you out there who are jaded to life and have all but given up on happiness, so you wouldn’t mind being an obese monster just sitting around watching TV and eating all day. Hide from the terrors of society and never leave your couch. I respect that. But still, I think midget is the play there.