» The First Barstool Voicemail Podcast Has Arrived Barstool Sports: New York City

The First Barstool Voicemail Podcast Has Arrived

Cue the “face made for radio” comments. More like the face that launched a thousand ships you jealous motherfuckers

Note: For some reason it doesnt work on Google Chrome. Try it in a different browser while I try to fix the problem on Chrome.

So it took a couple weeks, but a couple hundred voicemails and a few thousand wires later, I finally finished the first Barstool podcast. Its nothin crazy, so don’t get your hopes too high. I still have no idea what I’m doing. Haven’t even named it yet or anything. But I’m treating it like I did when I first started blogging on For Sure Not. I’m just gonna dive in head first and get the ball rolling and take it from there. See what it grows into. Once I get the hang of it more, get a few beers in me next time, and get some people to call in as guests, we’ll be able to do a lot longer ones about various topics. But for the first one I wanted to keep it short and sweet. I know you guys would rather hear the Stoolie messages, so tts like 8 or 9 minutes and the 5 best voicemails I weeded out.

And for the record, I want to answer the first Would You Rather voicemail. I never actually answered the question on the podcast. I would never choose to wear as much hair gel as El Pres wore on Jim Rome. No matter what the alternative choice was. That lettuce looked downright ridiculous. Oh and the Patty Portnoy impersonation is hands down one of the most deranged 2 minutes in the history of Stoolie behavior.

Unfortunately since we have the worst technology in the history of internet blogs I can’t even embed this shit so Click Here To Listen. Feel free to leave comments and criticisms and let me know what you think I should do for the next one.

And the Stoolie Voicemail is still up and running (646) 80-STOOL. Call up and leave your name or a nickname or something so I know who I’m hearing from and leave me a message. More shit like this. Funny shit that I can actually use.

By KFC posted June 5th, 2012 at 12:50 PM

Top 2 Comments

60 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by olsonmr on June 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I finished first voice-mail and I can't stop laughing. Great idea KFC.
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by rod_beck on June 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm
not even trying to be mean but you should consider getting that gross mole thing removed from your forehead. girls eyes must go straight to it every time you talk to them...which im sure you already noticed since their eye contact with you often darts from your eyes to your forehead when you meet them man, must suck to have permanent weird shit on your face
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by wildmanpete on June 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Another awesome innovative idea from BSS. I tell you what, if you guys keep recreating Bill Simmons 10 years after he first does something you might go somewhere.
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by theking on June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm
This is great. I would listen to this once a week if you can make it happen.
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by dustinbrady1215 on June 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm
your voice is absolutely hilarious
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by millionsofpeaches on June 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Patttttttty
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by dmz1207 on June 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
shit wont work on my browser
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by fordhamgirl12 on June 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
holy shit KFC, your voice sounds nothing like what i imagined. pretty hilarious though.
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by slice267 on June 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
haha pissed off midgets
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by dinkyinyourstinky on June 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Shit don't work for me. Google Chrome / sony Vaio.
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by jackofspades on June 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm
I wanna fuck the shit out of Patti Portnoy
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by KFC on June 5, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Google chrome doesnt work. try different browser for now while i figure it out
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by Hidden Laxatives on June 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Started poorly in that I had to use IE like an asshole. But actually pretty good stuff. Your voice is (no homo) pretty good for podcast/radio.
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by tr1d3nt on June 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Drunk guy was awesome, big time disappointing stro call, Rex Ryan faux call way overrated by you, the rollerblade call is dumb, Patti Portnoy holds this shit show together.
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by tomcaronsgoatee on June 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm
this could end up being pretty funny. nice work kfc. i also appreciate your lack of the word "like" between thoughts, and "um". keep it up.
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by mattsh20 on June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Am I gonna get a virus if I listen on IE?
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by tomcaronsgoatee on June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm
oh, and nice zit.
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by beatstains on June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm
lmao your voice is fucking hilarious and that 1st caller was a fucking retard
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by Snap Dragon on June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm
A definite work in progress but a welcomed addition to the Stool. Keep it up.
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by ClamsCasino on June 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm
KFC should be the smooth voice of Barstool...Pres is out. I want live callers...chicks. You sound like Opie and Anthony
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by joepradi on June 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm
this is fucking hilarious. Well played KFC
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by delcodirtbag on June 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I'm pretty new to the stool, less than 2 years. The patty portnoy shit was hilarious. What's up w that though? Did she legit used to leave voicemails and pres would post them? I mean to me it's still funny as fuck cuz I just imagine her being a typical Boston Jew mom. If there are actual old links let me know. Podcast was pretty funny. But yeah get some technology going up in here so you don't have to go to a different site. Worked fine on safari w an iPad
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by stro on June 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Proof I'm an alcoholic.
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by woffel on June 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm
I can't think of anything more boring. If I go to hell it's going to be you doing this on repeat.
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by dibiase on June 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm
you guys are f*ckin A Class let me tell ya. Clean this sh*t up I'm not changing my browser for you, (but i wanna listen)
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by Will I am Not on June 5, 2012 at 1:53 pm
i had to download it on IE<,fuck that, my job wont let me, if it dont work on chrome im good, you probably just priced out half the market not having it work on chrome bro
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by crosbysbrain on June 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm
First voicemail was funny, I assume most of those were like that. A bunch of drunk stoolies that wrote something mediocre funny, then were too drunk to read or speak. I will say this, you got me really excited for the would you rathers. Even though they were disappointing to say the least, in the future they will get much better. That girl sounded hot Stro, pretty awesome you got her to talk on the phone to another dudes voicemail.... And Patti Portnoy was something else. Bravo for whoever that was.
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by fng commenter on June 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm
I thought it was pretty funny, see some potential there. Had to switch from firefox to IE to listen...don't think my ad block settings likes the quicktime shit...was expecting to get bombarded with a bunch of ads and popups and shit on the site, but didn't..?
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by crustface on June 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm
KFC, are you from California in the 80s with that voice? Feel like you're about to start grinding on some rails a la The Disney Channel Movie Brink.
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by 4guys1barstool on June 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm
A, KFC. Keep up the good work. Potential for A+
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by dustman on June 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm
midget would you rather is downright hilarious
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by buffalobills on June 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm
well done
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by bdemps15 on June 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Are you dying?
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by guestbutt on June 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm
i dont get anybody who didnt find that funny. maybe kfc overrated the rex one, but it was still funny. midget would you rather and patti were awesome. My advice: do 2 of these a week (M and F). Don't let Pageviews touch it or talk on it, and talk about john oleruds helmet alot
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by supp on June 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm
i think i...no i definitely just did pee my pants a little at the last guy doing the patti portnoy. seriously funny stuff
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by bradyanderson on June 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm
I was dying laughing at my desk for the Patty Portnoy call, this is a good idea
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by buffalo_bill on June 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm
no commentary next time, you fucking faggot
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by crash1600 on June 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Dude I jo'd like 8 times on that vmail why didn't you play them?
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by cripes on June 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Would you rather fucking killed it
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by elcunado on June 5, 2012 at 3:48 pm
so KFC how often is this? if i called today would it not be up for another few weeks?
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by Sportsarecoool on June 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Surprisingly awesome, good call investing in some legitimate sound equipment, voice sounds good as fuck (no, ok some, homo). Also for Chrome you can just right click the link and download it, it'll play in iTunes or whatever.
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by wilburham on June 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm
You suck.
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by oilcountry1 on June 5, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Even if this doesn't work out at least there's hard evidence Stro is gay
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by Pat Bateman on June 5, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Worked fine on my iPhone, although I wish it didn't. Jesus Christ those 5 VMs were retarded/not funny.
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by johncoffey on June 5, 2012 at 5:49 pm
i lol'd
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by NewYorkIsBetter on June 5, 2012 at 6:22 pm
You know google chrome is the most popular browser in the world right? Anyone who doesn't use it is an idiot.
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by professorh on June 5, 2012 at 6:25 pm
I'm on Google chrome currently. Maybe the issue is fixed. stro: no that isn't proof you are an alcoholic. It's proof that you have no game with girls. Can't even get the girl to give you the answer you wanted. Nice effort assclown. Patty Portnoy was great and I actually thought the first one was the funniest because we have all been there. That guy was just spitting out a standard monologue that goes on in our own heads around 2:15am when we are in our apartments solo. Hmm should I jack it? Should I call KFC? Should i call KFC AND jack it? Yes. Definitely yes.
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by balls562 on June 5, 2012 at 7:05 pm
WHAT THE FUCK IS A GOOGLE CHROME
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by Numero Two on June 5, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Liquid gold. Was that question basically would you be Rollerboy or hanging out with a pissed off midget? I'll take Rollerboy.
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by 2chainz on June 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Sweet sign off at the end. WTF?
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by yoyoma on June 5, 2012 at 9:13 pm
That was fucking great. One of the best most ridiculous would u rathers in history.
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by 808golf on June 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm
Funny stuff, looking forward to the next one. Maybe less reliance on the word "faggot" would be nice though. I mean, it's 2012.
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by johnnybegood on June 6, 2012 at 3:22 am
Here's a quarter KFC, why don't you pay a rat to gnaw that mole off your face.
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by mgamelin on June 6, 2012 at 3:39 am
Your voice sounds like you should be the late night host on some shitty soft rock station that no one ever fuckin listens to called something like 98.9 the Wolf or 102.4 the Wave. I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard then your pussy, wispy voice. Suck a fart.
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by flodo on June 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm
funny shit but you sound like a fucking square, straight up.
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by arieljoc on June 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm
just left a voicemail :) ( I'm a chick so I can use smileys whenever I want) you do sound like a square and actually look kind of like my retarded cousin if I had a retarded cousin. But I still have half a bottle of wine left so you'll probably be getting more voicemails from me later! TOFTS (tits out for the stool)
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by bobcabbit on June 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm
the "lady" on the last part of that ... yup shit my drawers laughing
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by Barstool Podcast on June 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm
[...] Barstool podcast was posted the other day. Check it out here. (NSFW: [...]
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by dtowntheo on June 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm
This was a great Idea KFC had me laughing
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by Donnie Baseball on June 10, 2012 at 9:18 pm
killing it
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