Barstool Sports

Newser -  Some teachers work their students like dogs—but in Florida, one science teacher apparently treated her students like canines. Laurie Bailey-Cutkomp, 47, made at least eight of her ninth-graders wear a “cone of shame” last month, reports the Tampa Bay Times. And this particular cone isn’t a dunce cap, but the kind of cone dogs wear to make sure they don’t lick their surgical wounds. Making the story more bonkers: Zephyrhills High School officials learned about the odd punishment via, what else, Facebook photos. The county’s superintendent has recommended Bailey-Cutkomp be fired, and outlined the odd course of events in a letter. The teacher apparently screened the Pixar movie Up before and after spring break, which led to a discussion about the “cone of shame” that the dog Dug has to wear in the movie. Bailey-Cutkomp says her students asked about it, and she brought one in. Some apparently put it on to see what it was like, but “you stated that you gave some students the option of either wearing the collar or sitting at the tardy table when they arrived late to your class,” wrote the superintendent. Another student was allegedly made to wear it after drinking soda in class. Bailey-Cutkomp later admitted it was “probably” a bad idea; she intends to appeal the superintendent’s decision.

Now this is some funny shit. The “Cone of Shame.” I mean thats really the ultimate punishment. You ever see a dog when he’s got that fuckin thing around his neck? Its pure misery mixed with embarrassment. Can’t scratch your ears, can’t lick your balls. Just the fuckin worst. Well I’m not sure how many people in Mrs. Bailey-Cutkomps class are trying to lick their own balls but nonetheless this still translates as a great punishment. Just humiliating the kid who was late or eating a snack in class. Pointing and laughing and ridiculing and shaming always has been and always will be the best form of punishment and deterrent.

I wish we had some shit like this at Barstool. Feitelberg uses the wrong your/you’re or the wrong to/too/two, Cone of Shame. Zollo strolls in late again – Cone of Shame. Sales Guy doesn’t make and sales – Cone of Shame. The leader of the whole empire gets arrested for condoning rape – motherfuckin Cone of Shame!