Barstool Sports

Examiner - The strange and the odd seems to happen all over the world and that includes over at a theme park in Sweden when a man suffered what only can be considered a freak accident. On Saturday, July 20, 2012 (Sunday inSweden), the 31-year-old father of two was on a children’s ride that stopped working properly and had a tow hitch penetrate his rectum. Yes, you read that correctly. The man, who had his name withheld, was visiting the Furuvik theme park near Gavle inEastern Sweden with his young daughters (ages two and four) when the accident happened. The girls were having fun on the minicar attractions when the four-year-old needed a little help working the car. She can’t step on the gas pedal herself, so I lifted her up and jumped on the back of the truck so she would fit in front of me,” the father told the local paper, Arbetarbladet.  Upon helping his daughter, the father didn’t see the towhitch that was protruding on the back of the little truck. His jeans ripped as the hook cut through them and penetrated his rectum. Upon getting loose from the tow hitch, he was bleeding profusely and was helped to a bathroom to wash up. The theme park gave him a new pair of shorts, work pants, and treated them to lunch.

Reason #454,656,097 its a bad idea to have kids – you may take them to a Swedish theme park and end up getting your ass fucked by a goddam go kart. Its bad enough trying to tow 2 kids around an amusement park. One is begging for cotton candy while the other one is complaining they gotta take a piss. By the time you get to a bathroom so they don’t piss their pants the other one is hungry again. Complaining about waiting on line. Spending an ungodly amount of money. Oh and then the icing on the cake is you get analed by tow hitch. Now you’ve impaled yourself, your two kids are scarred for life because they just saw their dad reverse cowgirl a metal pole in his asshole, and the worst part of all is that you’re probably gonna get in trouble with your wife when you go home.

But at least you got a free lunch, right? Anyone who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch has obviously never ass fucked themselves at a Swedish amusement park.