Barstool Sports

Newser) – Researchers at Cambridge University may have just discovered the secret to happiness, at least for men: Do more chores. Men from seven European countries were found to have an improved sense of well-being and work-life balance, as well as less work-life conflict, if they helped more around the house, the Telegraph reports. Researchers were expecting women to be happier when their partners shouldered more of the load, but found that it made basically no difference to them. The findings are based on data from the European Social Survey, which asked participants about quality of life as well as how much time they spent on various tasks. One of the researchers notes that the men who help with chores could simply have quieter lives, because their partners are not complaining as much. “Times are changing,” she says, and as gender equality becomes the norm, husbands who don’t pitch in likely experience “more family conflict.”

Now on the surface this study seems completely preposterous. Dudes enjoy doing chores? Dudes like cooking and cleaning? For sure not! But the problem is not with this study or the results. Its with how you label it. The article saying “Chores make men happier” is completely misleading. It should be described as “Chores make women happier, which makes women quieter, which makes men happier.”

Whats the old saying? Happy wife, happy life? Thats what this is all about. You do the dishes every now and then, fold the laundry every now and then, and your life will be infinitely easier with your old bird. Life is all about picking your battles. Its all about choosing your spots where you can make a little go a long way. So the sooner you figure out that vacuuming every once in a while is worth several hours of her shutting the fuck up, the better.

Of course you always run the risk of consistently doing the chores to the point that it no longer appears “special” to your woman. In the beginning when you do the dishes she’s thrilled and thinks you’re being so caring. Do enough chores in the beginning and you might even get a blow job out of it. But you do it every day and it loses its luster. Its power fades. So you gotta ration off your chores to keep it effective. Supply and demand. Long story short your entire existence once you’re married is an elaborate song and dance trying to get your woman to shut the fuck up so that your life doesn’t suck.