Barstool Sports

Huff Po – The dwarf who played this Ewok was clearly not Bashful. Actor Nicholas Read is facing jail time after he admitted to flashing a college student on a train headed to Manchester, England, the Sun reports. Read played an Ewok in “Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.” After he showed the student his manhood, he took a picture of her horrified friend’s reaction, according to the paper. This is the second time Read has gotten in trouble for flashing a woman on a train, and this latest sex crime is a violation of his suspended sentence for his 2010 offense. Read could have to go to jail to complete the 20-week suspended jail sentence, plus any additional time from this most recent brush with the law. “The bottom line is you are in breach of a suspended sentence,” Judge Roger Thomas told Read. “The normal consequence of that is to prison you go and that may well have to be the outcome.” Read will be sentenced in July. The Manchester Evening News reports that the judge denied a request by Read’s defense attorney for a psychiatric report on her client. Thomas said there was “very little” evidence of mental illness in his case. Read’s film credits include playing a goblin in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” and part of the Goblin Corps in “Labyrinth,” according to his IMDB page.

What a rough stretch its been for midgets. Or dwarfs or Little People or whatever the fuck those sausage fingered creepers like to be called these days. First dwarfs got banned from playing dwarfs in Snow White. Do you know how bad that is? Thats like hiring white actors to perform in black face instead of hiring black people. Just as offensive as it gets.

And now we’ve got Ewoks jerking off on trains in front of girls, taking pictures of their reaction shots. Can you blame this son of a bitch? He’s like a real life version of Warrick from Life’s Too Short. He once was a glorious Ewok. Apart of the most successful movie franchise in the history of cinema. When he took the stage or jumped in front of the camera, people paid attention. People watched him. Reacted to him. Now…nothing. Just a fucking bow legged wobbly dwarf. Only way he can get an audience to respond is to wrap his sausage fingers around his stumpy bratwurst and take pictures of their reaction. Wouldn’t be surprised if this little fucker puts that shit on his IMDB page to try and keep his career alive. Peter Dinklage is drowning in full size human pussy on and off the screen as he plays the Hand of the King in Game of Thrones, meanwhile Nicholas Read is starring in the Manchester Masturbator in the role of “Midget Jerking Off Underneath A Hat For 30 Minutes On A Train.”

PS – I don’t care if underneath they are all misshapen deformed sex offenders, Ewoks are the cutest fucking things in the world.