Newser – A Spanish furniture company has what it says is the world’s first self-making bed. Hit a button, and rollers pull up the cover while cords raise and straighten the pillows, explains the DVice blog. It’s done in under a minute. Alas, it’s not clear how OHEA’s bed would work with a jumble of blankets, notes Eileen Marable, but it’s a start anyway. (The company says its provided comforter is good for all seasons because you can pop inserts in and out.)
I’m going on record as saying that “Making the bed” is the single stupidest thing the human race does. Its without a doubt the most unnecessary waste of time in people’s daily routines. Wake up under blankets all jumbled up and spend like 5 minutes tucking and folding and smoothing out blankets that you’re just gonna jumble up like 12 hours later? Retarded. You know when people say “the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again expecting different results?” Well I say the definition of insanity is making your bed every day knowing you’re just gonna fuck it up later. Straight up crazy. Especially the people who are like “I can’t start my day if my bed isn’t made” like its some sort of addiction to heroin or something. Freakin lunatics.
And I know people say “Don’t you just love getting into a nice bed thats all made?” Yea, I do love that. I love getting into a bed that someone else makes. Don’t love getting into a bed and fucking it up knowing earlier that morning I said there flapping my sheets and blankets and lifting the mattress and tucking shit in and walking back and forth to each side of the bed like 10 times. So if I had a Jetson’s Robot Bed that would make my bed for me, sure – I’d make my bed every morning. Press a button and watch those little arms smooth out my shit as my pillows get lifted in the air. But until the day I’ve got one of those, no chance I’m gonna play dress up with my bed like some lab monkey puppet day after day after day.