Post – A wealthy parking-lot magnate gave herpes to his Soho model girlfriend — after he promised her that he didn’t have any sexually transmitted diseases, a $5 million lawsuit charges. William Lerner, 57, who owns Imperial Parking Systems — one of the largest garage operators in the tristate area — met the beautiful 43-year-old woman at an art gallery in 2012 and wooed her for several months, according to papers filed yesterday in Manhattan Supreme Court. “We had fallen in love. It was a very serious relationship very quickly,” the woman, who is listed in the complaint as “Anonymous,” told The Post. The pair went out on expensive dates, and the high- roller even flew her to Aruba, said her lawyers, Matthew Blit and Justin Clark. “The entire time, I had protected sex with him,” the woman explained. “It did cross my mind that maybe he should be tested, but on the other hand, I trusted him completely.” She said her troubles began March 2012, when Lerner tricked her into thinking that he didn’t have any “health issues,” and the couple had unprotected sex for the first time. Days later, the woman allegedly experienced a herpes outbreak. A doctor informed her that she had recently been exposed, the papers allege, and the woman frantically contacted Lerner, who she said offered to pay an expected $700 in medical expenses. She soon ended the relationship.
Rule #1 of contracting herpes: always get it from a super rich person. That way, after you get that first outbreak, you can turn around and sue them for $5 million and embarrass them in front of the whole world. Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Herpes score! No seriously, I know herpes probably sucks and shit, but $5 million is $5 million. There’s a part of me that would consider acquiring herpes for that much money. I might be into banging some rich girl and walking away with a briefcase of cash and a lifelong STD. Retire to somewhere tropical, set up a Positive Singles account and just plow through other infected chicks for the rest of my life. Doesn’t sound too bad at all.
PS – Has any guy in the history of the world ever told a woman that he has an STD right before they fuck? I feel like once you get the clothes off there’s only one answer to that question.