Daily Mail- It has long been hailed as beneficial to both body and mind – and if nothing else, a form of stress release after a hard day at the office. But new research suggests exercising outside could do more harm than good when it comes to your brain. For jogging in busy, traffic-filled areas could actually cause mental decline. Belgian researchers have found that people who live in a city and exercise outdoors have higher levels of inflammation and lower scores on cognitive tests than those who exercise outside in the suburbs. In a study, they separated exercisers into two groups who exercised three times a week for 12 weeks, between midday and 1pm. One group alternated and walking in a busy, urban area – the other in a rural location. The researchers, from Vrije Universiteit Brussel, then gave the subjects a test to measure their response time and attention span. They found that high levels of air pollution in the city prevented participants from getting some of the brain-boosting benefits of exercise, such as the ability to absorb new information and a reduced chance of mental health problems. The city joggers also had significantly higher blood levels of some inflammation markers, Men’s Health magazine reported. This is important because inflammation in the brain is associated with mental illness.
Well would you look at that. Turns out all you marathoners and joggers are actually just borderline retarded. Running around in the filth and smog on your high horses just poisoning your brain. Quietly judging me for sitting at home on the couch 20 hours a day. Calling me unhealthy and sickly because I eat donuts all day. Well guess what assholes? You’re fucking dumb. Inflamed brains and failing cognitive tests and shit. I may be fat and out of shape but my brain ain’t swollen and I can ace whatever quiz they put in front of me. Plus I don’t ever look like an asshole jogging in place during a red light in a crowded Manhattan sidewalk. Fucking can’t stand when they do that.
At the end of the day, America is fatter and stupider than ever. And its because assholes are eating organic garbage and jogging all the time. Stick to the KFC Diet – zero sunlight, zero exercise, and synthetic pastries from Entenmann’s. I’m sharp as a fucking thumbtack and weight a buck 80. Practically the perfect specimen.