NY Post – Jets players’ “Honey Do” lists are going to get a little long this week. It is Patriots week for the Jets and coach Rex Ryan gave the team its orders Wednesday: stay off your feet and leave the household chores until next week. So expect a lot of dirty dishes, overflowing garbage cans and big piles of laundry around the homes of the Jets this week. “He was like, ‘Rest your legs, you go home, don’t do nothing for your wife,” newly signed kick returner Josh Cribbs said. “Say ‘baby, next week. I’m going to take out the trash next week. I’ll take the kids to practice next week because I got to rest for this game.’ I’m going to tell him to put it on paper so when I give it to my wife I’m like, ‘Hey, Rex said that I don’t have to take out the trash.’ He might get a call from my wife.” Some interpreted that to mean Ryan was telling the team not to have sex this week. One reporter even told Cribbs he thought he was implying something else, and Cribbs replied, “you all are silly.” Later, Ryan clarified he was not telling his players to abstain.
So this story started spreading around late yesterday after all the beat reporters inferred Rex was telling his players not to fuck their wives. Listen Rex Ryan has had his ups and his down. He’s had some moments where you really scratch your head and think “Does this guy really know what hes doing as a head coach?” But nobody, and I mean nobody, would be stupid enough to try to think they can stop NFL players from fucking women. Thats like trying to stop the sun from rising in the morning. Literal impossibility. So no, I don’t think that was Rex’s message yesterday. Maybe he was referring specifically to “wives?” Thats more of a possibility, I suppose. Go fuck the 9 or 10 hoodrats or baby mamas you got on the line? Bottom line is Rex was not telling his players not to fuck. Thats lunacy.
You can’t go out there on Sunday against the Pats with a loaded pistol. You gotta clear the pipes before you do something important. Whether its fucking your girl or taking care of business yourself. I mean I don’t do anything without jerking off. The second I can’t come up with a funny blog I pound my dick just so I can focus. Sometimes I jerk off before I jerk off just to make sure that second session is really solid. Because bottom line is you perform better at everything after you crack stick.
Clear eyes, Empty Balls, Can’t Lose!
CLEAR EYES, EMPTY BALLS, CAN’T LOSE!!!! Fuck New England!
PS – Football players don’t do chores either.