NYDN – A sticky-fingered crook in a wheelchair swiped a purse from a woman who got up to dance at a Times Square hotspot, police sources said Thursday. The apparently disabled thief is also wanted for swiping handbags from an unsuspecting diner at a swanky W. 57th St. restaurant co-owned by Robert De Niro and a woman at a posh midtown hotel, sources said. Police said the unidentified suspect entered Havana Central on W. 46th St. near Seventh Ave. in Times Square at 9:45 p.m. on Sept. 3 and rolled off with a bag a 40-year-old woman put on her chair when she decided to hit the dance floor. A few days earlier — on Aug. 30 — the free-wheeling fiend was seen rolling through Nobu 57 on W. 57th St. near Sixth Ave. at 11:30 p.m., where he police say he grabbed a pricey Coach purse a 34-year-old diner had placed under the bar. He then left, using the credit cards in the purse to buy food at a nearby pizzeria a short time later, officials said. Surveillance images taken near the restaurant show the thief — a Hispanic man dressed in purple — making his getaway, according to sources.
I’ve always thought about this. Nobody suspects the handicapped. It’s the perfect cover for committing crime. You remember how Ed Norton played that retarded guy in The Score? Well this is kinda like that except this dude is swiping purses instead of jewels and looks to be legitimately disabled instead of faking it. But still, same concept. You see a guy without working legs roll in wearing a purple suit and your first thought is to get out of that motherfucker’s way and give him all the special treatment you can. A devious purse snatching scheme is the last thing on anyone’s mind.
It’s like we as a society aren’t supposed to say that some handicapped people are scumbags. It’s taboo or something. Like if anyone is in a wheelchair or has some sort of crippling ailment, it’s illegal to think that he might be a piece of shit. Well therein lies the genius is this pimped out hispanic man’s plan. Play on our heart strings. Use his noodle legs to his utmost advantage. And while we’re doing everything we can to accommodate his wheels couch, he’s robbing us blind and laughing all the way to the handicapped-accessible bank. Genius, really. Almost no way to defend against it, except maybe a stick in the spokes.