WHITE PLAINS — Pierce Crowley, the 15-year-old Rye boy missing since he and a friend left New York Hospital on Friday, was found by police early this morning. Sources close to the investigation told The Journal News that the Iona Preparatory School freshman was located in New York City and that he was safe and unharmed. Additional details were not immediately available. In an e-mail to The Journal News, private investigator Dan Schorr, hired by the Crowley family, confirmed that Pierce Crowley had been located. Crowley’s disappearance last week prompted a massive search involving hundreds of volunteers including family, friends, classmates and teammates who posted fliers throughout the region and spread the word through a social media campaign that attracted celebrities, athletes and reality television stars. Crowley’s parents, Gretchen and Peter Crowley, also hired a private detective and offered a reward for the safe return of their son. Check with lohud.com later this morning for updates on this breaking story.
Well I guess we can call the dogs off! The international manhunt for this little piece of shit can finally come to an end. What a goddam pain in the ass. I wanted to blog about this last week when all the posters and tweets and facebook statuses started but I pussied out in case god forbid something actually happened to this kid. But I’m kicking myself now because I knew there was 100% no fucking chance anything really happened to him. This whole case just screams bougie Westchester teenager who ran away from home. But of course a wealthy white kid lax bro goes missing and all of a sudden we got more people looking for him than we did Osama Bin Laden. I mean, “Pierce Crowley from Rye New York” is about the bougiest human alive. Makes the Winklevosses look like riff raff from the streets. I wonder how many Puerto Ricans from the hood are like “what the fuck is all this fuss? I lose my kids for like weeks at a time and nobody gives a shit.”
Anyway, as soon as I saw that one poster that was like “We are on your side” I knew this little fucker was just stirring the pot and causing trouble. That poster might as well have said “mommy and daddy are sorry they yelled at you, please come home now because its getting embarrassing when we go to the country club and people stare at us.” He probably got caught smokin dope or he came out of the closet to his parents and when they flipped out he hopped on a Metro North train to run away. Fuckin Iona kids. Seriously what a bunch of pussies you guys are.