Imagine you live in a world where you’ve got the budget to start your own zoo. What are the first 3 animals you’re picking to start your zoo? Think of it as an Animal Kingdom draft. Big Cat’s deranged ass picked a fucking tortoise. Because he’s gonna make a bear and a lion fight each other to the death, and in the event neither survive, he needs one of those giant tortoises that can survive like 250 years in order to sustain his zoo. And the sickest part of all is that he was dead ass serious about it. Yea, what a great zoo that would be, bro. Hey Mommy can we go to Big Cat’s Turtle Zoo to see the dead lion and the dead bear and that old ass tortoise floating around??? Real good fucking zoo, bro. Sometimes I wonder what happened to Big Cat along the way that turned him into a bonafide lunatic. Don’t get me wrong – I thank God every day that I have access to his dementia, but I’m sure a psychologist could write a fucking thesis on the inner workings of Big Cat’s brain.
Anyway if you’re starting a zoo the correct choices are 1) Polar Bear – most dangerous animal on the planet. Big time attraction. 2) Panda – Coolest most laid back animal on the planet. I’d love to kick it with a panda. 3) Diego the horse – ugliest animal on the planet. You know how big of a draw having the ugliest horse on the planet would be? Honest coin money flowing through KFC’s Zoo.
KFC Radio trivia came to an end yesterday so we’re starting up a new giveaway for the loyal listeners of the podcast. Each week we’re gonna pick out the caller who leaves the best voicemail and hook them up with a pair of Barstool sweats. Which, in case you didn’t know, is a pretty huge fucking deal:
Dicknose, FTW! Rob from Long Island will be the first Stoolie to ever rock official Barstool pants. Also Rob I think you should get laid more often if this is the highlight of your life.
So call the Barstool hotline for next week’s episode – 646-80-STOOL (646-807-8665). If your voicemail is the best we’ll send some Stool gear your way.
PS – 15,000 downloads in January from iTunes, 175,000 views on the youtube account. Thanks to all the Stoolies listening to KFC Radio. I love doing it every week so thanks for watching, listening, tweeting, whatever.