USA Today – Topping FHM’s new 100 Sexiest Women in the World list? JLaw. Just as everyone’s buzzing about that Us Weekly story saying Jennifer Lawrence was so “wasted” at a post-Oscars bash that she threw up — in front of Miley Cyrus, no less — comes the latest news that she is topping the beautiful babes list for 2014. The magazine calls her “freaking awesome.” The Hunger Games star toppled Mila Kunis, who drops to No. 6. Just a handful of other famous names making the cut: Rihanna at No. 3, Kaley Cuoco, No. 5; Beyoncé, No. 7; Scarlett Johansson at No. 10; Kate Upton, 18; Miley Cyrus, No. 79. Notes FHM: Actress is still the most popular profession. Brits are still the most-voted-for nationality. And the 20s remain your favorite age group.
Ugh. This is worse than Lupita being the Most Beautiful Woman. I mean of course I’d throw it in J Law. I’m pretty sure she has monster tits, but I’ll be honest, I’m not sure any more. Those bombs are sometimes there and then sometimes not, so I’m not 100% sure. But anyway “sexy” is just about the LAST way I’d describe Jennifer Lawrence. Like whether you find her attractive or not, Rihanna is fucking sexy. Every thing she does, every song she sings, every picture she takes is saying “I’d like you to fuck me right now.” Jennifer Lawrence, on the other hand, just gives off that vibe that she snorts when she laughs too hard. The good old goofy girl. “I trip and fall every time I have to walk in high heels and a long dress! I’m just a regular gal who likes to act! I’m just like you girls!” I think its all an act to get Hollywood and fans to find her endearing, and its working. So I tip my cap to J Law there. But lets not go ahead and reward those shenanigans with the title of “Sexiest Woman Alive.” Its just like the FHM article describes her – “freaking awesome.” People think she’s the “cool girl.” That doesn’t mean you have to call her sexy.
Its high time we took back these goddam magazine titles. I mean for fucks sake people are gonna look back at 2014 and see Lupita is the most beautiful and Jennifer Lawrence is the sexiest? Thats just a bad look for humans. 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive (like it or not) should be Rihanna because she’s constantly showing her tits and ass and being all provocative, and Most Beautiful Woman Alive should have Kate Beckinsale. And to be honest she probably should have won that award about 14 years in a row now.
PS – We’re excluding all the GTA girls and Local Smokes from this discussion because honestly some of those unknown girls are the hottest/most beautiful chicks out there. Like this year’s Smokesmash winner Hannah from Ohio State is probably the prettiest girl on the planet