Telegraph – An Indian men’s magazine commissioned a global sex survey to see how Indian men stacked up against the rest of the world, but ended up discovering they had the least sex of all. The annual survey, conducted by Men’s Health, is by far the largest of its kind in the world, with 50,796 participants in 30 countries. But the results showed that Indian men have sex, on average, less than once a week, the least of any nation surveyed. And almost half (48 per cent) believe their partners regularly fake orgasm. Indian men have, on average, just three notches on the bedpost, the lowest number in the survey. Compare that to the males of Croatia, who had the most – an average of 11 partners each. Croatians also had the most fun outdoors, doing it more often in pools, parks, fields and cars than any other nationality on earth. But in a move that may surprise our European neighbours, British men and women both ranked as the kinkiest on the planet, perhaps in part due to the phenomenon of ‘mummy porn’. The record selling “50 Shades” series is written by London-based author E L James. British women were also the most promiscuous, reeling in an average of nine partners each. The magazine’s editorial director, Jamal Shaikh, said the poll was about providing more than data or trends.
Well who saw this coming! Oh wait literally everyone on earth did. There’s not a person alive that didn’t expect Indian dudes to come dead last in the sex department. Asian dudes probably aren’t far behind. But I think between bukkake gangbangs and hentai cartoon porn they’re actually getting it in. In their strange, Asian way. But they’re satisfied. Mexicans fuck all the time. Thats why they end up grandmas and grandpas when they’re like 30. I’m pretty sure like 100% of the women in the Middle East are faking orgasms because they’re most likely being forced into sex, but I suppose they are getting assaulted more than once a week. And then you’re left with the Indians. Indian dudes have gotta be the least sexy guys on earth.
No offense, Indian dudes. I mean I’m no Brad Pitt. I’m taking a look at these figures and it looks like Indian guys and KFC aren’t all that different. Sex less than once a week and fake orgasms about half the time? Give me a bindi and some curry scented cologne and you might as well call me Indian. Matter of fact might as well change this study to “Married Men Have The Least Sex Of All.” You can be white, black, brown, yellow whatever. Getting hitched is the great equalizer when it comes to not getting laid.