Oh my God! Its Shark Week! Better watch 50,000 documentaries on sharks every single night this week. Have you ever seen that one special where the sharks jump out of the water while hunting the seals?
Of course you fucking have because Shark Week is the same goddam thing every single year. 25 fucking years of this shit. Buncha freaks out there who have some strange obsession with sharks who think watching the same specials over and over is interesting. You know how many new species of sharks there are this year? Zero. Let me guess what sharks are up too these days – eating seals and catching a bad rap for eating humans. Am I right? Oh wow they cut open the stomach of one shark and found license plates and tires and all sorts of other shit a shark shouldn’t be eating? Fucking riveting. That was awesome in 2002 and its still awesome now!
For sure not. For real these people who watch all week are like Penn State wackos. Just some cult of shark lovers going fucking bananas 24 hours a day for a week straight. I’d love nothing more than to find the biggest Shark Week lover and punch him square in his fucking dick.
Sidenote: I watched Ancient Aliens on the History channel the other day. 2 hour long specials back to back about ancient architecture and how aliens had to have provided technology to make it possible. The second one was about how dinosaurs were actually exterminated by aliens in a nuclear wipeout because they wanted to clear the planet and start a new experiment with human life. Also they said dinosaurs and humans lived together at some point because Egyptian hieroglyphics depict all sorts of dinosaurs and people living together. Now THAT shit was amazing. Gimme a week of Ancient Aliens and then we’ll talk.