Hey Elijah lemme ask you a question – are you the most pathetic Canadian in the history of Canada? First thing’s first bro – you’re 10, not 4. I’m not asking you to breaking out a¬†calligraphy¬†pen and wow me with your¬†penmanship, but gimme a fucking break with this piece of shit handwriting display.¬†Looks like Charlie Kelly wrote this fucking letter.
Secondly, I’m going to start off by pointing out how pathetic you are for writing a letter to the mens relay team because they were disqualified after only coming in third. We’re not talking about a Gold Medal here. We’re not even talking about runner up second place. We’re talking about 3rd place. A position that nobody even really knows why we give out medals. In addition, what do you mean “you knew it was wrong?” “You know the rules were not right?” Fuck are you talking about kid? Rules are rules. I’m not sure how it works in Canada. Maybe too much hockey going on up there for you guys to understand the concept of out of bounds. But just about every other sport has some line that can’t be crossed or you’re fucking out. So I don’t know how that made you realize “at last” how good they were. They were 3rd place at best and didn’t follow the rules. Here in America we call that sucking.
Last but not least I wanna address your ode to Canada and the fucking War of 1812. The war of 1812 was fought between America and Great Britain. Canada wasn’t even a fucking official country at that point. Yes, the British people living in what eventually became America’s Hat resisted far more than we thought they would and the whole war ended up being a draw. If you want to call that some big success for Canada, go for it you underachieving son of a bitch. I guess it makes sense coming from the same kid who praised a 3rd place disqualified relay team.
PS – “Adapt and survive” means “we keep getting shit on by everyone but we’ll always have denim outfits, the NHL, and a bunch of people who randomly speak French.”
PPS – “We pet severe” doesn’t mean anything. At all. Although I wouldnt be mad if that became Canada’s official motto. WE PET SEVERE.