Huff Po – Hell hath no fury like a woman husband scorned — especially one with a tractor and ready access to manure. Such was the case in Sainte-Émélie-de-l’Énergie, a small town north of Montreal, in Quebec, Canada, last week, when police say they caught 64-year-old Rene Daniel outside his ex-wife’s house. Also with Daniel were “heaps of manure” piled high outside the woman’s front door and inside her hot tub. According to the QMI Agency, he’d allegedly filled the hot tub with manure after being served divorce papers. (Steamy.) After he was confronted with the stinking mess, The Montreal Gazette reportsDaniel took off in his tractor, leading police on a chase at a little more than 10 mph. He was forcibly stopped and removed from the tractor less than a mile down the road. An odd case of revenge, no doubt. Maybe they should have instead agreed to just split their belongings in half.
I’ve heard of a lot of fantastic revenge plots in my life – but a jacuzzi full of shit might take the cake. Its relatively safe, harmless. Its non violent. Nobody is in danger. But goddam that moment your bitch wife walks out on her back deck and sees her hot tub filled to the brim with barnyard animal shit, thats gotta be one of the most satisfying feelings of all time. Even if you’re not there to witness it. Even if you’re cruising back to your farm on your tractor when it happens, you still know that the shock and horror she experienced made your mission well worth it.
Because lets be honest, there’s no revenge like shit revenge. Anything poop related is a surefire way to ruin someone’s day. This is why every cubicle monkey dreams of shitting directly on their boss’ desk the day they quit. There’s just something primal and inherent about it. Like marking your territory or something. Just knowing that you figuratively and literally took a shit on someone or their belongings brings a level of satisfaction other revenge pranks can’t replicate.