Huff Po – Cops were called in to stop hammer time, and the incident had nothing to do with a washed up rapper. Darron Lynn Koenig allegedly threw hammers at construction workers in Friendswood, Texas, on Tuesday before barricading himself inside a tool shed at his home when police arrived, according to Click2Houston. From Click2Houston: Authorities said one worker told them Koening was throwing the hammers at them and had a knife. One contractor’s hard hat took the blow from the hammer while another worker was hit in the arm, authorities said. Cops arrived to find Koenig barricaded inside the toolshed. After two hours, police said they feared Koenig was trying to set the shed on fire so they rushed in and “used tear gas and a Taser to subdue him” according to a police news release obtained by the Houston Chronicle. The Friendswood Journal reports that Koenig has previous arrests for attacking one of his neighbors and, in a separate incident, assaulting a police officer. Koenig was charged on Tuesday with three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one count of aggravated assault on an officer.
If you somehow could combined the Undertaker, Mankind, and Paul Bearer after a Hell In A Cell, you’d have Darron Lynn Koenig. Both physically and metaphorically. Throwing hammers like Mankind in a Hardcore Match. Locking himself in a toolshed trying to lit himself on fire? Very Paul Bearer/Undertaker-esque.
The reality of the matter is when you look like this, you have no shot at living a normal life. A Mankind/Taker/Paul Bearer hybrid can’t just go about his daily life the way anybody else can. Can’t go to the grocery store without frightening women and children. Nobody is hiring you for work. Nobody is setting you up on a date. Basically you’re resigned to a life of throwing hammers at construction workers. I’d lock myself in a toolshed and light it on fire too.