VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. —Macaroni and cheese apparently led a Volusia County man to stab his own brother. Randy Zipperer, 49, was arrested on Wednesday at the Deltona home he shares with his 47-year-old brother. Sheriff’s deputies say Zipperer was upset because he couldn’t find his macaroni and cheese, and when the victim tried to help him find it, he accidentally knocked over his brother’s open beer. Deputies said Zipperer flew into a rage and stabbed his brother in the stomach with a steak knife. The injury was not serious. Zipperer is charged with aggravated battery and obstruction of an officer without violence.
I don’t want to blame the guy who got stabbed or anything, but c’mon bro, you’re only making things worse. We got a serious hunt going down for some MIA mac and cheese and you go ahead and spill beer all over the place. So now we have that to worry about on top of the missing mac and cheese. Talk about chaos. This dude probably felt like the only chance he had to find his dinner was to get his brother out of the picture. Eliminate any and all distractions so he can focus 100% on the search. Like it’s not about you or your knife wound right now. There are much more important things at play here. Just go bleed out in the corner while I track down my Kraft. And don’t knock anything over for christ sake.
PS – The fact that they don’t tell you if he found the mac and cheese is infuriating.