NJ – Numerous charges have been filed against a New York woman who was allegedly drunk and wearing only a jacket when she crashed her car into a stone retaining wall in New Jersey and then drove off. The crash occurred early Friday in the northwestern New Jersey community of Sparta Township. A witness called police at 12:53 a.m. Friday to report a white Volkswagon Jetta had crashed into a stone retaining wall on her property before fleeing the scene. Officer Joseph Pensado spotted the car just minutes after the crash and performed a motor vehicle stop. He was stunned when he saw the driver, 36-year-old Catherine Giaquinto, of Warwick, wearing nothing but an unzipped leather jacket. There was fresh damage to the Jetta’s left front fender, driver’s side door, and rear left passenger’s door. The damage was also consistent with the damage done at the retaining wall. She allegedly told Pensado she couldn’t remember the accident or where she was going. Her speech was reportedly badly slurred and she claimed to have no memory of an accident. She also denied being completely naked. After noticing some clothes in her car, Pensado asked Giaquinto to get dressed, which she did after several minutes. When she was finished, her dress was on inside out and backwards. A series of field sobriety tests revealed an extremely high level of intoxication.
Man, the cop really fucked up here. I know he’s supposed to be an officer of the law and everything, but when you find a drunk, decent-looking 36 year old slut wearing only a leather jacket on the side of the road, there’s only one thing any self respecting man should do – start fingering her. Just slide a couple digits in and start giving here the “come here” motion. Then she’ll start blowing you, then you bang her in the back seat and maybe cum in her hair That’s how you gotta do it.
Because there are three things we know: 1) She’s wasted 2) She’s naked 3) She’s wearing leather. And the rule of thumb is this: When you stumble across inebriated broads wearing only leather jackets, you gotta slide it in. The leather jacket is a dead give away. Drunk naked chicks in leather are asking for it. Otherwise they wouldn’t be drunk, naked, and wearing only leather.