Barstool Sports

Huff Po -A Kansas woman is suing her physical trainer for allegedly rubbing his penis and ejaculating on her feet during a post-workout massage. On Sept. 29, 2011, after a completing her workout at the Gold’s Gym in Merriam, Ashley Clevenger accompanied Gregory Darrell Davis to a room “designated and equipped for massages,” according to a complaint obtained by Courthouse News. Clevenger, of Johnson County, was lying on her stomach when she “felt something strange on her feet that did not feel like Davis’s hands,” the complaint states. Clevenger claims that she immediately turned over to find the defendant “rubbing his exposed penis on her feet.” Davis then “ejaculated on plaintiff’s feet,” the complaint states.

The Rex Special! 90 minute deep tissue massage with reflexology and a load of jizz between your toes. I woulda played this off like it was some ancient Japanese technique. I mean you know how many weird massage techniques there are? People sitting in tubs of mud, people getting needles stuck all over their bodies, hot rocks and all sorts of other shit. Whats a dick between your foot at that point? Nothing releases tension and rehabilitates your chi like a good old fashioned foot fucking.

And listen nowadays, a massage ain’t a massage unless there’s a happy ending. If two people go in a dark room with sensual music and someone gets rubbed down for an hour somebody better bust a nut. Obviously if its the chick who’s getting massaged we’re kind of at an impasse, no? The G-Spot is a myth and a female orgasm is like Halley’s Comet. You see one every 75 years. So unless you want your masseuse to try and finger blast his way to the unheard-of Female Happy Ending, just take a quick tootsie fuck and call it a day.