Barstool Sports

Huffington Post - Michelle Mathis is no Dr. Evil, but she is hell-bent on compensation for her car, which was towed in Ohio while she was in the hospital and apparently never returned, according to TheNewspaper.com. Mathis is demanding a whopping total of $520 billion in damages from the Columbus Department of Public Safety’s Impound Unit, according to court documents obtained by the blog. The hubbub began in January, when Mathis got into a car accident and went to the hospital. She was in the hospital until February, and her car was towed in the process. When she asked the impound unit about her 2002 Saturn, officials wouldn’t give her any information, she alleged. Now she thinks that the impound unit got rid of her car, and that it was thrown away because impounders simply didn’t like her. ”It is Plaintiff’s belief that Defendant has since disposed of her vehicle,” federal magistrate Judge Elizabeth Deavers said in the document dated June 4. “Plaintiff further believes that Defendant has acted intentionally, because of her past experiences with the Impound Unit.”

You ever had your car towed? If you have, you know where this bitch is coming from. That feeling when you first walk out to the street and see that empty space where your car used to be is a top 5 worst feeling in the world. In that exact moment where you’re like “Did somebody steal it? Was I an idiot again? Where the fuck is my car?” the only thing that could make you feel better is $500 billion dollars. Not a penny less. Half a trillion dollars is the only thing that can ease the pain of calling the city and tracking down your car and going to the Hunts Point impound and sitting with the degenerates and forking over all your money just to be able to drive your own vehicle out of there.

And thats all if you get your car back. They fucking lost this broad’s car. You know what its called when you park your car and then someone takes it away and you never get it back? Thats called having your car stolen. Doesn’t matter if someone hotwires it and drives it out of there or if a tow truck drags it away, when you don’t get that shit back, you were robbed. So I, for one, back this chick and her lawsuit 200%. Like 15 thousand bucks for her 2002 Saturn and $521,999,985,000 for mental anguish.