NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s food police have struck again! Outlawed are food donations to homeless shelters because the city can’t assess their salt, fat and fiber content, reports CBS 2’s Marcia Kramer. Glenn Richter arrived at a West Side synagogue on Monday to collect surplus bagels — fresh nutritious bagels — to donate to the poor. However, under a new edict from Bloomberg’s food police he can no longer donate the food to city homeless shelters. It’s the “no bagels for you” edict. “I can’t give you something that’s a supplement to the food you already have? Sorry that’s wrong,” Richter said. Richter has been collecting food from places like the Ohav Zedek synagogue and bringing it to homeless shelters for more than 20 years, but recently his donation, including a “cholent” or carrot stew, was turned away because the Bloomberg administration wants to monitor the salt, fat and fiber eaten by the homeless.
Now I know most people are gonna be up in arms about this. But I’m rolling with Bloombito on this one. You know the only thing worse than homeless people? Fat homeless people. Imagine that? Fat vagrants running around begging for money with their toothless mouths. All because some over achieving good Samaritan is dropping off bagels and carrot stew and shit at homeless shelters. You think homeless people are gonna worry about trans-fats and shit? Sodium intake? For sure not. Not like they’re gonna hit the gym and make sure they keep the pounds off. Gonna have a bunch of fat fucking assholes looking for meth in the subways. Disgusting. Plus homeless people shit in the streets and in garbage cans and stuff. You really want the hobos with a diet high in fiber? City will be overrun by fat transients shitting everywhere.
Just let them stick to dumpster diving and keep the beggars skinny.