NYDN – Friday is just another day for daredevil wire walker Nik Wallenda, even though he’ll be crossing a tightrope over raging Niagara Falls. No biggie for the seventh-generation member of the famous Flying Wallendas. He already holds six Guinness World Records for other sensational stunts, like longest bicycle ride on a tightrope without a safety net. “Nothing really special,” Wallenda, 33, says of how he’ll spend the hours beforehand. “We say a prayer before I do my walk, but nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary, to be honest.” But there’s nothing mundane about the feat, airing live on ABC Friday during the 9-11 p.m. special, “Megastunts: Highwire Over Niagara Falls — Live!” It’ll be preceded at 8 p.m. with “Countdown to Niagara: The Greatest Megastunts of All Time.” Wallenda will walk from the U.S. to Canada across a 1,550-foot tightrope, suspended 173 feet above the falls. This has been banned for 128 years, but after much lobbying, Wallenda scored special permission. The Niagara Parks Commission “unanimously passed a bill saying that it would not allow any stunts except for mine, only once in a generation, till they consider even hearing somebody’s idea of a stunt,” Wallenda says. “So, in other words, once every 20 years.” He’ll attempt to cross the Horseshoe Falls, the two largest and fiercest of the three Niagara Falls. ABC is requiring that Wallenda wear a harness for the stunt, stating, “We want it to be exciting and thrilling, but we also want every parent in America to know that we’re going to make it comfortable for them to watch with their kids.”
Hey Nik maybe you should ride a unicycle across too! Do some juggling and some magic as you go! Maybe David Blaine can meet you on the other side holding his breath inside a glass cube of water! While Cris Angel levitates! Then hopefully all you fuckin assholes plummet to your death together.
You wanna know who the biggest asshole of all is though? Anybody who watches three fucking hours of tight rope walking programming tonight to see a guy walk across Niagara Falls with a safety harness. Who gives a fuck about this stunt if he’s got a harness? Guy might as well be on an episode of Global Guts or some shit. They put those kids in bungee cord harnesses for like every fuckin challenge. Maybe that drunk Mike O’Malley will announce and we can go to that British bitch Mo for the results when its over. Whats the difference here? Every moron who’s ever gone on an MTV Real World Challenge has basically done this. I mean you throw me in a safety harness and I’ll try to do cartwheels across that shit. What a fuckin crock.
PS – I would rather have a blind, gay son than a tight rope walking daredevil son.