Barstool Sports

NY Post – He turned to real-life crime to feed his virtual addiction. A video-game addict forced a fellow geek to fork over 4.7 billion “magic” coins by pulling a realistic-looking gun during a robbery in a Fordham University classroom, The Post has learned. The coins, used to buy items in the swords-and-sorcery video game “RuneScape,” are so treasured by players that they are regularly swapped online for real cash. Suspect Humza Bajwa, 19, of Massachusetts, pretended he was seeking to buy game currency and arranged a deal with fellow player Jonathan Dokler to purchase the nearly 5 billion coins for $3,300 in real money, according to a criminal complaint.  Instead of transferring the money online, Bajwa allegedly wanted a face-to-face meeting — and Dokler sent his Fordham pal David Emani to collect the cash. Emani told The Post that he met Bajwa in the school library on July 11 — and had a feeling something was wrong. “He was transferring money from one envelope to another envelope, and I got a glimpse of it and it looked fake,” Emani said. “I was on the phone with John, and I said, ‘Don’t do it. It looks fake.’ ” But Dokler wanted to continue with the transaction, even after Bajwa suddenly said he had to leave and asked to meet again the next night. Emani said he came prepared for the second meeting, in a classroom, with a real $100 bill to compare with Bajwa’s money. “I took it out and said, ‘The money you have is fake,’ ” said Emani. That’s when Bajwa went from white knight to fire-breathing dragon — pointing a realistic-looking BB gun at Emani, the complaint says. “I whispered, ‘Take it easy, man. No need for that gun,’ ” Emani said. “I couldn’t believe I was about to get shot over RuneScape! I was so scared I was about to die.” Bajwa allegedly ordered him to call Dokler and say the transaction was complete and get him to electronically transfer the 4.7 billion RuneScape coins. Dokler transferred the coins, and Bajwa left. He didn’t rob Emani of any of his real-world items — including his $100 bill.

How about Jonathon Dokler sending one of his henchmen to complete the billion dollar RuneScape transaction? Like some sort of fucking kingpin in the shadows. Guy is like Keyser Soze or something. The greatest trick Dokler ever pulled was convincing the RuneScape world he didn’t exist. What the fuck is that middle man thinking? It ain’t his RuneScape billions. Whats he getting, like 10% off the top of the $3,300 deal? And now you got a BB to your head in the middle of the library at Fordham? Bro just get out of the game while you still can. Leave the seedy world of RuneScape heists to the pros. Let Jonathon Dokler do his own dirty work. Put away the counterfeit money and the BB guns and the billions of RuneScape money.

Head over the Mugz’s and drink some beers and fuck a 6 out of 10. Thats what Fordham’s all about.