We Must Kill This Gigantic Chicken Before It Takes Over The Planet

HCIC! Head Chicken In Charge! All other chickens must answer to this motherfucker. You wanna lay an egg? You ask him. You wanna peck some seed? You ask him. Shit I’ll bet even ostriches and eagles and turkeys and shit gotta follow this guy’s orders. If you’re a bird, you’re at his mercy. Some penguin steps out of line and Head Chicken has gotta start breaking wings to send a message.

And so now it’s time that we, as humans, step up and kill this fucking thing. Much like Pedals, the bear who walked on two feet who was assassinated by the government, we need to keep these sort of things in check. Whenever we see the Animal Kingdom getting out of hand like this, it’s our job to nip this in the bud and kill these things before it’s too late. Before the Man vs Beast revolution comes and we become slaves to these advanced creatures. Somewhere along the way we started breeding big ass chickens so that we could eat extra large wings and double yolk eggs and what not, and now it’s time to pay the piper. Now we have monster birds running around ready to launch the rebellion and overthrow the humans. Like Frankenstein attacking the doctor that created him. Kill this colossal chicken before its too late.

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