The Rumored Cast For The Next MTV: The Challenge Season Has Leaked And It Is Potentially A Hall Of Fame Cast
Lock your windows, close your doors, and ring the alarm. CT is (rumored to be) back!!!
What a motherfucking cast and crew! It’s like MTV was reading my pleas on the blog and hearing my pain on the No Quitter’s podcast. Now let me preface this by saying that these are just rumors, but these Challenge accounts are usually pretty good. They get reports about which maniacs are on flights to random parts of the world that only MTV would send them. So I feel like this is probably the cast. And you know what? If it’s not, too bad. I’m gonna just enjoy looking at this list/picture and believe that it’s true because it’s Friday. I absolutely love the Champions vs. Challengers idea, even if the format doesn’t pit them against each other because the only place where superteams like that are allowed is the NBA. But giving the champions something to talk down to the challengers about is fantastic because if there’s one thing we know about The Challenge, it’s that anytime one of the cast members has their ability questioned, fireworks are sure to follow.
Now lets do a quick deep dive on cast members not named CT. We get back two classic competitors in Darrell and Derrick. There are some Challenge fans that don’t know much about Darrell and Derrick. Darrell was an absolute stud back in the day while Derrick was a fucking pitbull. I guess you could compare Darrell to an Adrian Peterson type. Talented and athletic as hell. Derrick is more of the Danny Woodhead type. Gritty as the day is long. I can almost guarantee that Derrick is PFT’s favorite Challenge cast member.
Oh yeah and I have to include the time Darrell knocked Brad’s block off
Consider me one of the people that is shocked…SHOCKED… that Camila has unretired less than 4 months after she announced her retirement despite her two bachelor degrees.
Now hit her music!
JK, I don’t know if that’s Camila’s song. But that’s what I hear every time The Camilanator comes out.
Moving along, we have Cara Maria coming back to The Challenge either because she wants more money, needed some time away from her BELOVED cousin, or figured Thailand was safer than an America with Abe in it. I don’t really have an opinion on Ashley or Sam other than that Real World: San Diego cast unleashed the biggest sociopath The Challenge has seen in years (Frank) and it’s a damn shame he is not on this list.
Next up we have Laurel. I love having Laurel back because she is one of the best girl competitors ever. I hate having Laurel back because she scares me and is the meanest drunk I have ever seen in my life.
Nobody picks on Big E and gets away with it. #BigGuyTwitter for life.
Next up we have Zach. I hate having Zach back because he has popcorn muscles and always lets his team and the audience down. I REALLY hate having Zach back because he broke the heart of Jenna AKA America’s Sweetheart. And that’s all I have to say about Zach. Actually fuck you Zach. Okay, now that’s all I have to say about Zach.
And of course Johnny Bananas is back. If you ever wondered what it would have been like if Michael Jordan returned the season after hitting that shot in Game 6 against the Jazz, this Challenge is your answer. Still the best moment I have seen on TV in years.
Collllld bloodeddddddd. So happy the money hasn’t changed Johnathan Nanners.
And some quick thoughts on each of The Challengers.
- Shane: He was on Road Rules Campus Crawl. I Googled “Road Rules Campus Crawl” and the top result was “Road Rules Campus Crawl Where Are They Now”. That can’t be good for Shane considering he’s in a house with a ton of boozed up, sex crazed, over competitive 20-somethings.
- Cory: We could talk about Cory being the worst personal trainer ever or we could talk about the time he hooked up with Aneesa. Or we could jump off of the tallest building in your city. All three are about equal.
- Tony: TONY!!! I leapt out of my chair when I saw he was on the cast. I’m pissed that we got Road Rules Shane instead of Tony Brother Shane AKA Electric Bugaloo. But I’ll take Tony and his utterly ridiculous love of women. The over/under for girls he kisses this season has been conservatively set at 12.5.
- Bruno: I’m terrified of Bruno. I’m not sure who saw his Real World season, but he almost murdered someone for eating his burger.
And him and Tony have some history.
Complete loose cannon. So when I say I’m terrified of Bruno it means I LOVE THAT BRUNO IS ON THIS SEASON! What the fuck took you so long, MTV? Are You The One cast members was better than this?
- Theo: I watch the new Real World episode on DVR during the weekend. Not bad but not great so far. Theo seems like a cool ass guy though and he doesn’t seem crazy. Need a few guys like that in The Challenge house. It’s like the opposite of a sports team. You can have 1 crazy guy in sports as long as everyone else is sane. In The Challenge house, you can have 1 sane guy if everyone else is crazy.
- Dario: Baby ARod himself. I hate everything about Dario and I love everything about Dario. He’s a complete meathead but he is flat-out hilarious with his unintentional comedy. Happy to have him back. His spelling of Bananas and Wes was a high-water mark for last season.
- Everyone from Are You The One: Don’t care. Almost all of them stink on Challenges. But here is my #BarstoolConfession of the day. I watched the last Are You The One (season 4). It’s a good, fun show. But it’s soooo much different than The Challenge. Which is why I think the cast members don’t translate from one show to the other.
- Everyone From Real World St. Thomas: I didn’t watch this season, so I know next to nothing about them. I will blindly say they are better than any Are You The One Trash.
- Nicole: Thickest Staten Island accent you will ever hear in your life. Is a triplet, an EMT and seemed pretty cool on her show. Feels like a one and done appearance for her.
- Sylvia: I couldn’t remember how Sylvia was on her season. Wifey Clem called her a firecracker. I love having firecrackers on The Challenge. This is a good thing. I think.
- Kailah: Do you like Challenge cast members that seem to have a billion daddy issues? If so, you are going to LOVE Kailah.
- Anika: Streaked naked in the first episode. Don’t remember much else about her but what else do you really need to know.
- Ashley: She exudes crazy like Odell Beckham exudes athleticism. Absolute superstar in the making.
Super duper star.
Reminder: She has a thigh tattoo. Girls like Ashley is the reason these shows are so good. She’ll be in wherever the Hall of Fame is for The Challenge one day. I think Cancun would be the perfect place for a Challenge Hall of Fame personally
- Jenna: All she does is make the Challenge finals and steal the hearts of millions every season. I love Jenna and you should love Jenna (unless you are Zach. You don’t deserve her).
Be still my heart.
– And after all that, this is just a reminder that CT is back. CT IS BACK. CT ISSSS BACKKKKKKK! Time to get hyped.
*Again, if this cast isn’t the actual cast, please throw this blog in the nearest garbage can. And if that is indeed the case, just know that I will be somewhere crying because I am a grown ass man that just wrote more than 1000 words about a fake Challenge cast rumor